Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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