Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
