The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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