im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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