Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
