I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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