Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You should frame my arrest warrant.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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