; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
