How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
