you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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