i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I party with great urgency now.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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