As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Randomize
