Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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