You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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