Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Randomize