Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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