Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
he was CRYING into my vagina
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize