I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Randomize
