The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
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