I'm going to rape someone's good day.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
