If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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