who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
