Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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