I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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