Nicole vs. Life
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
