Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
