so explain again why im purple
no
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
