so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
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In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
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Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
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