Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
