im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
