put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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