you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
