but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
