just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
