Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize