would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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