Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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