he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
