All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
