Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
