So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
