So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
