I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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