I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
