Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
