no. you can't hotbox the world.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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