Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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