need another drink. this is the easiest way
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
