the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
