if i died would you start the facebook group?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
