His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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