Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
My dick has a subreddit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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