what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
