i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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