Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
