did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
this boner is exhausting
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
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