It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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