...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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