you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
