mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
