i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
