there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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