please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
