Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
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