At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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