check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
