Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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