Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
But break dance skills will only take you so far
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
