I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
