so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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